Away in a Menorah?
by Gariand
Summary: CHRISTMAS ONESHOT. Two super best friends discuss friendship, holidays and, of course, Cartman. No real plot intended, just something for Christmas.


**Away in a… Menorah?**

_Away in a Menorah,_

_All the Jews go to hell._

_And because Stan's in love with one_

_He can go there as well._

_Enjoy your Hanukkah, you Heathen Fag._

"Stupid, Anti-Semitic Asswipe!" hissed Kyle, scrunching up his card in fury. He had been surprised to receive a card from Cartman, and now he cursed himself for not guessing sooner that the fatass would use it as another attempt to insult him. He considered burning it, lest it should accidentally fall into the hands of his mother, who would probably start up another embarrassing protest group and put the world in danger. Heck, it had been proven once with something less offensive.

"Dude, calm down, it was just a stupid card." Stan Marsh: Voice of Reason. Kyle sighed, knowing that although Stan was right, he was terrible at the whole "forgive and forget" thing. The Broflovski family temper was well known in South Park, and it seemed to always take a Marsh to be able to cool that anger. It didn't stop the young Jewish boy from seething inside though.

"I know, Stan, but after eight years of having to put up with this crap, don't you think that I'm entitled, even a little bit, to be super pissed off with him?"

Stan merely shrugged his shoulders. "Look, you're the better person out of you two, after eight years couldn't you have just learned to… deal with it?"

"Deal with it? Intolerance shouldn't be allowed to carry on for eight years, that's the problem!"

"Yeah, I know, but you won't have to deal with it forever; you'll go to different high schools and colleges, you'll go down different career paths, and if Cartman doesn't change his attitude he'll die alone and friendless, in a gutter. And it'll be all his own fault."

Kyle smiled; trust Stan to be able to make things better. Cartman may have all the food and toys he wanted now, but in later life they wouldn't matter a jot. Morals, knowledge and friends, now they mattered.

"Stan?"

"Yeah?"

"Are we always gonna be friends?"

Stan wondered why Kyle would ask such a question; they'd practically been friends all their lives so far, not to mention saved each others lives a couple of times to boot, and with all their escapades that they got through together, they were closer than ever.

"Why'd you ask that?"

Kyle gazed downwards. "You said Cartman would die alone and friendless, and I need to know that I'll have at least one friend like you, that'll always be there for me even if others turn their backs. I need to know that I'll always at least have you."

"Dude, that sounded gayer Garrison just then," laughed Stan.

Kyle's frown pierced Stan's smirk. "I'm serious, dude. Do you promise that we'll always have each other to fall back on in the bad times? And to celebrate with in the good times?"

"Kyle, we'll always have each other, okay? We'll keep in contact, we'll meet up and have drinks, we'll even keep on celebrating Christmas and Hanukkah together!"

With Kyle placated, Stanley kept on with his train of thought.

"Speaking of which, Happy Hanukkah, Kyle."

He handed Kyle a present wrapped in green paper, as Kyle, prompted by Stan's words, brought out a similar sized present wrapped in blue.

"Happy Christmas, Stan."

They had done this for years now, trading presents to suit each others holidays. It was true that Stan could not afford eight different presents on an nine year old's allowance, but it wasn't as if Kyle minded. Whatever Stan got him was usually better than the countless dreidels he had received over the years from obnoxious relatives. Even the Marsh and Broflovski parents had gotten involved; the Marshes usually inviting Kyle and his family over for Hanukkah dinner, while the Broflovskis would have Randy and Sharon over for Christmas. It had been Stan's suggestion, and at least it stopped Kyle feeling like an outcast at this time of year.

Suddenly, Sharon's voice carried up the stairs to Stan's room.

"Stanley! Kyle! Dinner's on!"

They practically bounded out the room. Stan's mom was an expert when it came to cooking. But something in the hallway made them stop in their tracks.

"Aw, awww, Mom! Why the hell did you hang mistletoe up in the hall?"

Kyle had to stifle a laugh. "Mistletoe, eh? I guess we should…"

"Uh, no way, Gaywad."

"Gaybasher."

It was a wonder how awkward the green and white plant could make them. Stan made a mental note to take it down before Kyle came round the next time.

"Kyle?"

"Yes?"

"Trust me, I'm not against gays, but I swear to god, if you kiss me right now, I may have to kill you."

"Ditto, Stan."

And with that, they left the awkward moment to fester beneath the mistletoe as only they could. Stan could only thank god that Cartman wasn't there.

_Fin_

* * *

**Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Cool Kwanza etc to all those celebrating! Although I think I may have missed Hanukkah, damn!**

**Anyway, just a random Christmas fic for all those out there, hope you enjoyed it! And I hope everyone has a great holiday season!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Gari**


End file.
